Archive for the ‘M’ Category

A Lot Of M’s. Where Is The Rest Of The Alphabet?

A highly interesting thing, that I realized.

Since I moved to Gothenburg, I’ve met the interesting* guys just before going on a trip.
M when I went to Valencia in September.
MS when I went back home-home for Christmas.
MJ when I went back home-home to do my thesis presentation.
Yesterday I went on a spontaneous (and very nice) date with G. Tomorrow I leave for Madrid.

Perhaps this will end differently. His first name doesn’t begin with the letter M. Could that be a sign?

A reflection: Names beginning with the letter M seem to have been popular in the end of 70’s/beginning of 80’s. At least for boys. Also the Dane has a name that begins with a M. Marcus is the name behind two of the M’s. And Mikael behind the two other. How interesting isn’t that? ; )

* There is still something after the first date.


M Pops Up.

A look out through the window. And who do I see walking on the other side of the parking lot outside?


What is he doing here? His office is not in this part of the town. Maybe he has been to a building site? But I do not think the company he is working for has any building sites close to here. And even if they had, why was he walking in that direction? He wanted to take the boat, instead of a bus, to get to the other side of the river? Even if, he was still walking slightly in the wrong direction. He was walking in the direction of the company which I am working close to. That company is in the other end of the building I am sitting in. That is what I told him once.

M, Moved To the Archive.

He looked (I know he is not dead; but for me he is now something in the past, and therefore I will use the past tense) good on the paper. Carpenter and engineer. A handy man with money. The dream. To be able to say “I would like the room to look like this and this”, and he would know how to fulfil my wish. And he would have the money to do it. There would not be any issues about me earning more either. Singer in a band. I can not keep the note for one cent. Somebody should sing for the children I hopefully someday in the future will have. It is not going to be me. I can not subject anybody to that kind of torture. The age. I am looking for somebody that is a few years older than me. Or, actually it does not have anything to do with the age. I want somebody mature. Somebody who knows what he wants with his life. Somebody who is done with playing around. He also had one of the nicest pair of eyes I have ever seen.
Of course there were many “buts” as well. Too many actually. But since it was nice to have somebody to do things with, I tried to not think about them. The height. I would like to end up with somebody a little taller than me. I am not tall, and M was not many centimetres taller than me. Somebody who is about one head taller than me, that would be perfect. I like the feeling of that the man could protect me; with his body. I like the feeling of a tall guy embracing me. I do not need any guy with ex-girlfriend issues. M had been single for years, but I got the feeling he had not come over her totally. Also the passion was missing. I tried to convince myself it would come. Yeah, yeah. Somewhere inside me I knew passion is not anything you wait to grow. Meeting the Dane reminded me about how it is supposed to feel.

Busy Schedule.

Looks like M does not have time to meet with me this week.

Might be good.

There is a pimple developing on my chin. It can get huge.

Something, but what?

M has cooked dinner and served wine.
What should I do?

What DO I Eat?

I am vegetarian. Because I do not like to eat meat. I do not care about the animals, not more than meat-eaters do. I just do not like meat. I never have.

But I do eat fish. So I am not a real vegetarian. Or to be more exact; I like some fish. Salmon, that has been cooked long enough to make it dry, and smoked fish are the favourites. I do not like fish with small bones. Too annoying to separate the eatable from the bones. I do not like “raw” fish either. “Raw” fish for me is all fish that looks raw. That includes pickled herring and gravlax (raw spiced salmon), which actually is not raw. The fish should also be served in pieces, so that I can not see it actually is fish. I do not know what to do with a whole fish with head and eyes staring at me!

When I tell people I am vegetarian, they often ask me if I eat eggs. Yes I do. But not boiled or fried eggs. Only eggs in cakes, cookies, and Spanish omelet (well done omelet it is).

Some other things I do not like are: mushrooms, olives, celeries, seafood,…

I am complicated. In more than one way. It is a little embarrassing to explain people what I do eat/do not eat. I feel like a spoiled child, and sometimes wish I could say I am allergic to everything I do not like.
Well, it is not good to be too easy.

Still M did dare to invite me for dinner and wine last Saturday.

Bowling Alone.

“Are you at home?”
“No, I am bowling.”
“No, with one boy.”
“Aah, OK.”

That was one part of the conversation I had with my mother yesterday evening. I still wonder how come she thought I would go bowling alone!?

She must start to be worried for me.
Normally I only speak about boys as friends. The majority of my friends are male.
And many of them are gay.

I do not speak a lot about relationships with my mother. The last relationship she knows I had ended for almost four years ago.

Yesterday I wanted her to know everything is fine with me.
There is no reason for her to worry.

M and the other one.

I like M.

But at the same time I have somebody else in my mind.
I know I should get rid of my feelings for him.
But he is special.
If he did say I had a chance, I think I would take it.

I know I should move on with my life.
I cannot wait for somebody I will probably never have any chance with.


Met with M.
Me like.

Meeting M?

After a few text messages it looks like I am going to meet M again, soon.

M did not call.

M sent a text message.

Unfortunately we did not have the same plans for the night.

Will M call?

In my opinion M should have called by now.
Seems that M does not agree with me.